Public Service Announcement

With a lot of CEOs going to jail, it is important for me to remind you that if you get a notice to serve on a jury, you'd better go.  If you miss jury duty, you're not going to white-collar resort prison. No, no, no. you're going to federal POUND ME IN THE ASS prison.

There are four things all over the news today:

-That tool Christian Bale freaking out because somebody had to walk

-That stupid kid who got high after going to the dentist

-Chris Brown assaulting Rhianna

-Obama hitting his head on Air Force One.  This was his 6th trip.

If I were a Republican, I would say that Obama hitting his head is a sign from God that he is a disaster.  But I'm not a Republican.  So I will say that him taking 6 trips on Air Force one after only two weeks in office is a disaster.  What the hell is this man doing?

All of his appointees are frauds.  None of them paid their taxes.  And now Congress has to make a trillion dollars appear out of thin air just to keep the economy alive.

And the Post Office is going to have some serious changes.  You know when you go to the post office and there is that one window open?  They are closing that window.

Do you know how many people work at the post office?  About half!

But seriously, they are cutting Saturday delivery.  That means that millions of Americans will have to have sex with the UPS guy instead!