Speaking of which, the final numbers for the inauguration are in. 4,000,000 attended, whereas only 200,000 attended Bush's inauguration. But of course, there are more unemployed people now.
And I have just received word that Obama has pardoned Aretha Franklin's hat. The wind blew it off of her head and it flattened 19 people.
And if that wasn't bad enough, they ruined up the oath by not mentioning the word "faithful". Those pesky Republicans just had to get one more screw up in seconds before Obama became president. But who can blame them? It's not like anybody in Washington understands the meaning of the word faithful.
And I heard that all of the US Airways passengers who landed in the Hudson River received $5000 checks. And they are also getting 3 frequent flyer miles. I also heard that they gave them the choice of landing in Newark or in the river and they all took the river. And the passengers who paid $25 for a life vest were able to float. It's quite amazing that the rescue crews were able to save all of the passengers and also pull out 3 mob bodies from the river.
Seriously, though, Hillary Clinton was officially confirmed yesterday. Senate voted 16-1 for her. Only David Vitter voted against her (he said that he isn't used to getting behind a woman without paying her $300 first).
On the topic of the Senate, Blagojevich's senator was rejected because he doesn't meet their ethical standards. I wonder which Senator rejected him? Was it the one who embezzled the money and hid it in his freezer? Or the one who sent dirty text messages to underage boys? Or maybe the one who replaced the one who sent dirty text messages and then was caught in an affair with his secretary and had to fire her? Or maybe the one with the hooker? No, I bet it's the one who was caught having random gay sex in an airport bathroom stall!
Speaking of which, it's so cold in Chicago that if you buy a Senate Seat Blagojevich will throw in a free seat warmer. And if it still doesn't sell, then he is going to wait until summer when prices improve. The Illinois Supreme Court refused to hear a motion to throw Governor Blagojevich out of office. Afterwards, he thanked the Court and said "Your check is in the mail".
And Sanjay Gupta will probably be the Surgeon General. I think he is a great choice if he has been able to keep Larry King alive for all of these years. You know, now I realize why they call it Larry King Live. When Sanjay is gone from CNN, they will have to call it Larry King Dead.
I'll tell you that the economy is rough. People are standing behind George Bush just to get the free shoes. Actually, Iraqi's can only afford to throw one show at US Presidents now. And that dog from Marley & Me phoned Michael Vick to schedule some fights.
2 comments:
hey slamdick add friday night lights the movie. ok thanks. oh yeah and zango is still fucking gay, and no i'm not installing it just because I click on movies. when I said no the first time I meant it. you greasy fat fuck.
zango is easily the gayest addition to this site in its history. I will never download it.
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